So, the 2013 season is upon us and there are few things more important to me than my fantasy football league. I’ve only been partaking in fantasy football for 3 years and for the last 2 I’ve been the Commish for my own league featuring some of the dumbest assholes I know: my friends.
The League of Retarded Gentlemen is a special league….literally. I’ve made the playoffs once, last year after going on a 7 game win streak (and make it in by 7 points) only to lose to the biggest asshole I know who also happens to be one of my best friends. When I’m not playing make believe football, I’m a GIGANTIC (see: douchebag) New England Patriot fan. So, when all else fails and I lose by 73 points to a Bengals fan, I can feel solace in knowing his real team will almost always lose in the first round of the playoffs.
What makes our league so special is the weekly trophies I’ve created. Here’s a peek at last seasons trophies:
Almost made it. For the player that thought he/she was the shit heading into MNF just to see themselves lose.
The Derp Derp Award
Awarded to the dumbest roster move of the week. Basically, you’re a re. tard.
The Stephen Hawking Award
For the person who made the dumbest roster move but proved to be pure genius.
Sandusky Tight End Award
To the Tight End who put in the hardest effort, and won a long battle to come out on top.
Worse. Lost. Ever.
Most points for the week = Boss.
Boner Of The Week
The person with the least amount of points. You, sir/madame are a boner.
For 2013 I’m brainstorming about what new trophies I can add. Surely I’ll have an Aaron Hernandez award for the person that absolutely killed it in their weekly matchup. Too soon?
Stay tuned for a detailed report of our 2013 draft…this year we’ll actually have 4 people in the same room for the first time ever. Someone will be leaving with a black eye.